Some songs transcend being merely songs.
Often referred to as “anthems” or “classics” they’re the tunes you know all the words to without ever having sat down and read the lyrics. Songs that you never need to look at the screen for at karaoke. Songs that seem like they were never written and always just existed.
They’re also songs that are covered over and over again incessantly until the point that you almost can’t stand to hear them ever again.
Whether it’s being belted out by a contestant on The Voice, fumbled by the terrible acoustic duo at the pub, or croaked by that one douche bag that seems to make an appearance at every house party with his guitar – these songs always manage to find their way into bad musicians repertoire, with each performance rendering them more and more unbearable.
Here is our definitive list of songs that we never need to hear another cover of for the rest of our lives.
1. ‘Hallelujah’
Leonard Cohen wrote it. Jeff Buckley made it immortal. Rufus Wainwright made us smile to it during Shrek. Even K.D. Lang did aterrific job with it. But that should be it – let it rest. ‘Hallelujah’ has been done to death by every singing contest show and every bloke that can barely play guitar trying to show his new girlfriend his sensitive side. If you or your terrible band play a cover of ‘Hallelujah,’ you don’t really care for music, do you?
2. ‘Bizarre Love Triangle’
It’s a famous tale – Joy Division frontman Ian Curtis kills himself; rest of the band start New Order; no-one gives them a chance; they write ‘Blue Monday’ and become superstars. And although we’re just as sick of hearing ‘Blue Monday’ as ‘Bizarre Love Triangle,’ it’s the latter that seems to get the most acoustic guitar treatment. That’s mostly the responsibility of Australia’s own Frente!, who did a stunning job of covering the song in the early ’90s. But much like Frente!, this song should largely disappear from public.
3. ‘Yesterday’
You just shouldn’t play The Beatles. Full bloody stop. You’re never going to beat the original and especially not ‘Yesterday.’ Paul McCartney allegedly wrote the song in a dream – that’s how amazing it is, it’s not even of the conscious world! If you think you have a terrific cover of ‘Yesterday’ in your catalogue, put down your guitar, go outside, catch a bus to the nearest ocean, and start swimming towards the closest country that’s never heard ‘Yesterday’ (Spoiler alert: there isn’t one).
4. ‘Never Tear Us Apart’
Even people that don’t like INXS love this song. It’s easily their best material, and unfortunately that’s lent itself to be covered 4,036 times this year alone. It’s a beautiful love song, full of heart, emotion, tear-jerking lyrics and one helluva sax solo. Except when you play it. Then it’s shit.
5. ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’
This song gets covered so much it makes Bon Scott spin in his grave – and he didn’t even sing it. You may have shook me all night long, but we want to shake you until you shut up!
Also, whoever let this happen should be shot into space.
6. ‘Blister In The Sun’
Just like the SEGA Master System 2 with Alex Kidd built in, all acoustic guitars come with the pre-packaged ability to play ‘Blister In The Sun.’ The Violent Femmes’ biggest hit is also their most mind-numbing , over-played nonsense. “Body beats, I stained my sheets, I don’t even know why.” What?
That being said, how awesome is it in Grosse Pointe Blank? Love that movie.
7. ‘Imagine’
Imagine there’s no heaven. It’s not hard when you hear a cover of ‘Imagine.’ For a song that has more importance than arguably any other ever written, it sure does get banged out a lot by people who’ve never had a complex thought in their life. Eddie Vedder – the God of rock himself – only just covered this song recently because he didn’t feel he had a moment powerful enough to play it. It took him getting criticised for criticising war to wheel it out. Criticising war!
8. ‘I Will Always Love You’
If you were alive during the ’90s then you have this one permanently tattooed on your brain. That’s not a figure of speech – if you died and had to have an autopsy right now, they’d crack your head open and find “And ayyyyyyy, eeeeeee ayyyyyyyy, wiiiiiilllll alllllll…” inked right into your grey matter. It’s a song we never have to hear again because it’s already playing in our eardrum somewhere still. We wonder if Dolly Parton knew she was creating such a monster when she wrote this hit. We also suspect she, nor her bank account, really care.
9. ‘Black Betty’
White rock bands covering ‘Black Betty’ is about as original as white rock bands covering ‘Black Betty.’ No doubt Lead Belly would have liked a slice of the dough everyone’s made off the song he made famous since. It’s a good thing he passed away in 1949, otherwise he might have ended upstabbing someone for stealing his song.
10. ‘Wonderwall’
If you need us to point out that this song has been over-played and over-covered, watch this interview where Noel Gallagher describes just how much money he’s made off it. You may need a sick bucket.
Originally published on maxtv.com.au